Pretty Bad Sake
by Hana Himura
Summary: What can happen to Kenshin and Kaoru after drinking some pretty bad sake? COMPLETED (No new chapters, I just corrected some spelling mistakes)
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. In fact, the only Kenshin I own is the one on my imagination. And I don't have any money, so don't bother to sue me.

Pretty Bad Sake

It was a cold winter's morning at Kamiya Dojo.

Kenshin was lying on his futon, not willing to move. However, his body didn't feel cold as it usually did. He couldn't remember a winter's morning being so cozy and warm. Something was tickling his nose. Kenshin didn't want to take his hand away from the warmness of the blankets to chase away the itchy. 'It's just Kaoru-dono's hair.' He thought with a smile on his face. Then it hit him. Kaoro-dono's hair?

He opened his eyes very, very slowly. Then he shut it tight. Once again he opened. It was still there. Her hair, all over his chest. Of course, the hair was attached to her head. Her warm breath against his chest was the next thing he felt. 'This is soooooo wrong!' Kenshin thought, not knowing what to do. 'It's wrong, but sure feels nice, though.'

Kaoru moved her head slowly. Why did she had a headache so early in the morning? And why did she had a funny taste on her tongue?

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin called.

"Don't yell at my ear, Kenshin... I have a headache..." Then it hit her. "Ken...shin?"

She opened her eyes and there was a pair of a purple eyes staring back at her. 'This must be a dream... This must be a dream. I'll probably wake up and Kenshin is actually calling me to eat breakfast.'

"Oh... my... god..." It was Kenshin saying, trying to look under the covers. Kaoru slapped his hand.

"Don't you dare, mister!" Kaoru took a deep breath. "Did we...?"

"Do it? Sessha is not sure... Sessha can't remember much what happened. But Sessha sure feels naked..."

Kaoru bit her lip. This wasn't much help. She had the covers wrapped tight around her, so she couldn't feel if she was naked or not.

"I guess I can take a look..." Kaoru said, beginning to lift the covers.

"What???" It was Kenshin's turn to freak out.

"I don't want you look under the blankets if I am naked!" Kaoru's face was red as a tomato.

"Sessha thinks Kaoru-dono has a point... Though..."

"Close your eyes, Kenshin!" Kaoru commanded.

Kenshin did what she said, though he really thought there was no need to do so. He was beginning to have some flashes from last night. It wasn't a surprise at all when Kaoru almost yelled:

"I...! I...! I am..."

"Naked, Kaoru-dono? Sessha thinks that's the word for it."

"What the hell happened?"

"I think it has something to do with that sake Sano bought..." Kenshin began. "Sessha thinks we might have drink a bit of it..."

"A bit?"

"All of it, maybe... It would explain Sessha's headache... It wasn't good sake at all..."

Kaoru took a deep breath. "I don't care if the sake was good or not! How the hell did we end up here, in your room??" She shouted at him.

"Sessha remembers Kaoru-dono... I mean... Sessha remembers we playing a drinking game..."

"I remember that" Kaoru said. "Then what?"

"Sessha believes we got a little carried away. I think I might have kissed Kaoru-dono... One thing led to another and here we are... Sessha is very sorry, Kaoru-dono. Sessha didn't mean to ruin Kaoru-dono's reputation."

What was Kenshin talking about? Kaoru couldn't make much sense of it. She was still thinking and trying to remember exactly what had happened.

"But Sessha is willing to make amendments."

"What are you talking about, Kenshin?" It finally hit her.

"Sessha will marry Kaoru-dono. It seems the right thing to do."

"WHAT??" Her face was red from anger. "What makes you think that I want to marry you??"

================

All right! This is my first fic ever! So try to not be so mean with me. Yeah, there will be more chapters, I wouldn't let it end up like this. Well, English is not my birth language... In fact my English is pretty rusty (that's what happen when you only practice your English playing videogames). Anyway, if some expressions I use are strange, that's why! Please R+R.


	2. The day before

"What makes you think that I want to marry you??" Kaoru yelled angrily

"Why not, Kaoru? I really love you." Kenshin asked.

"I can't marry you! I'm in love with Sano!"

"Oro!"

JUST KIDDING! I'm a big K+K fan. Do you think I would do something like this? Sorry for all you Sano+Kaoru fans, but I just can't picture them together!

Disclaimer: You I'll have to torture me to make me say it!  
My mom walks in: "Renata, darling, if you don't write it, no Playstation 2 for you this Christmas!"  
Me: "OK! I DO NOT OWN IT! I SWEAR! Now can I have a PS2?"  
Mom: "Actually, no. We are saving that money for possible law sues. Hey! Don't give me that look, little missy! You chose to write this thing, now bear with the consequences."  
Me: "Damn!"  
Mom: "What did you say, Renata?"  
Me: " I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, nor Playstation 2. Very lucky people own them. All I own is a very old PSX."

=================  
"..." Dialogs

'...' Thoughts

*** change of scene  
=================

**The day before...**

Kenshin was doing laundry, his favorite pastime of all. The fun about washing clothes was that he could do all the thinking he wanted. Keeping his hands busy was the best way of loosing himself in thoughts without being asked too many questions.

That day, he had a particularly nice thought: Kaoru-dono. Not that he didn't think about her usually. She was a very frequent subject on his mind. It was just that last night he had a dream involving the two things he loved the most: his Kaoru and laundry.

He dreamt he was washing Kaoru's practice gi. It would be a very nice dream itself, to be able to get her gi at such a shade of white. Kaoru came from behind and blew on his ear. It was enough to send shivers all over his body.

'Kaoru-dono?' He asked on his dream.

'Be quiet' she had said, nibbling his ear.

"OI! KENSHIN!" Sano yelled. "You're drooling!"

"Oro?"

"Daydreaming of Jou-chan?" Sano laughed.

"Just thinking... About laundry." Kenshin smiled.

"Yeah, you sure are a freak. Anyway... Isn't it too cold to be doing laundry?"

"Well, the clothes are not going to wash themselves." It was a bit cold, but Kenshin actually didn't care about it as long as he could watch Kaoru practicing with Yahiko, or Kaoru chasing Yahiko around, like they had been doing for the past five minutes.

"Whatever. I was thinking about having a party."

"Uh? Party? Why?"

"I got some money. I just thought of doing something nice with my friends."

"Gambling?" Kenshin knew he didn't need to wait for an answer. There was no way Sano would ever work for money. There were only two ways for him to get money: gambling or being paid to fight someone. "Aren't you going to pay all the loans you got?"

"That can wait! Friends always come first, Kenshin! You should know that!" Sano got carried away.

"I thought you only borrowed money from friends..." Kenshin let out a sigh.

"Can I ask you a favor? Can you ask Jou-chan if we can have the party here?"

"I'm afraid Kaoru-dono might not be very fond of the idea."

"That's why you should ask her! There's no way she can deny it!"

'What is that suppose to mean?' Kenshin thought, glancing at Kaoru, who had just hit Yahiko on the head with a shinai. She just looked so adorable beating the crap out of Yahiko.

"Oi? Kenshin? You are drooling again, man."

Kenshin glared at Sano. It was really getting annoying. He wasn't drooling, was he? He was almost sure he wasn't.

"Will you talk to Jou-chan?"

"Hai."

"Thanks. I owe you."

"Like you'll ever pay your debts." Kenshin mumbled.

"Busu! Stop staring at Kenshin! Concentrate here."

"I'm not staring!" Kaoru quickly answered. Of course, Yahiko was right. She was watching Kenshin doing laundry. He had such a peaceful and pleased look on his face.

"Yeah, right! Like Kenshin will ever want you, anyway. There are so many beautiful women in Japan, why would Kenshin pay attention to a Tanuki?"

"What did you say?" Kaoru yelled.

"Raccoon!"

And Kaoru started chasing Yahiko with a shinai. The filthy brat was fast, but Kaoru was used to the chases. It took almost five minutes, but she was able to hit him on the head.

"Hey! Jou-chan!" Sanosuke called her. "Come here! Kenshin has something to ask you!"

'Kenshin? Ask me something? Is he going to ask me on a date?' Kaoru thought as she was walking towards them. She had heard some women saying something about blinking made women look seductive to men. She thought she would try that.

"What is it, Kenshin?" She asked, blinking and trying to look sexy.

Kenshin looked at her. It seemed to be working.

"Do you have something on your eye, Kaoru-dono?"

"WHAT?" 'Mou! Am I really THAT unattractive?' Kaoru thought.

"Come on, Kenshin. We don't have all day!" Sano got impatient.

Kenshin took a deep breath. Kaoru leaned forward to hear what Kenshin was going to ask.

"Ano... Sano thought..." Kenshin was interrupted by Sano's kick on his leg. Kenshin shot him his best hitokiri glare, before continuing. "I thought we could have a party here, for our close friends."

"Oh! I bet it's Sano's idea." Kaoru was trying to hide her disappointment. "Did he ask for your money, or he will ask mine?"

"Jou-chan! I have money of my own!" Sano began.

"Good, because you couldn't ask for her money. Busu doesn't have any." Yahiko said.

"What did you call me? Yahiko-CHAN!"

"Don't call me chan!" Yahiko stuck his tongue out at Kaoru.

"Why, you!" And Kaoru started chasing Yahiko again.

"I will be going, Kenshin. I'll drop by later to leave a few things for tomorrow." Sano said, turning to leave.

"Kaoru didn't say you could have your party here!"

"She didn't say I couldn't."

And that was the beginning of it.

***

Kaoru was standing at the dojo's porch. It had started snowing. She just stood there, watching the snow fill the ground.

"Kaoru-dono?"

"It looks like a blizzard is coming." She said, after a moment.

"Where is Yahiko?" Kenshin asked, standing next to her.

"He went to the Akabeko. Tae asked for his help."

'Alone with Kaoru... And a blizzard coming. Why do I smell trouble?' Kenshin thought, looking at the falling snow.

"We should go in, Kaoru-dono. It's too cold."

***

"I'm too bored, Kenshin." Kaoru sat in the kitchen.

"Should I make some tea?" Kenshin volunteered.

"What is that?" She asked pointing at the sake.

"Sano left those here before. I believe it's for tomorrow's party."

"Oh! Did I agree with that?"

"You left before answering. Sano presumed you had agreed."

Kaoru got up and picked up a bottle.

"I guess it won't hurt if we taste it." Kaoru said, opening the bottle.

***

Half an hour later

"Come on, Kenshin. You can drink faster than that!"

***

One hour later

"I think we may be drinking a little too much, Kaoru-dono..."

"Nonsense."

"Sessha feels a bit lightheaded. What if Yahiko walks in?"

"Tae wouldn't allow him to come home in such a blizzard."

***

Two hours later.

Kenshin was trying to cut onions to make dinner, but he wasn't getting much luck.

"Kenshiin?"

"Huh?"

"Dwont you think it's not gwoing to work?"

"Huh? Oh! You are right, Kaoru-dono..." With that, Kenshin turned the sakabattou around and kept trying to cut the onions...

"Use the knife!"

"Oh!" Kenshin put the sword down and started trying to cut the onions with the dull edge of the knife.

"I guess *hiccup* we are not going to eat soon..."

***

Two and a half hours later.

"Fight you coward!" Kaoru was wielding the Sakabattou like it was just a toy.

"You give me no choice!" Kenshin attacked, broom in hand, but missed the target terribly, falling on the ground miserably. "I had no idea *hiccup* you were this fast, Kaoru! Both of you!"

***

Three hours later.

"I said: 'why do you help Tae and don't like to help around the house?' And the little brat said: 'Tae-san pays for my help.' And I said: 'What about all those meals?' *hiccup* And the little brat, now listen carefully, he called me busu!" Kaoru started sobbing. "All he does is call me names! Am I really that ugly?"

"Oro... You're not ugly, Kaoru. *hiccup* You are the most beautiful *hiccup* woman in the world. All three of you."

"Do you really mean it?" Kaoru stopped crying.

"Hai." Kenshin said, pulling Kaoru into an embrace and kissing her softly, hoping that he had picked the right one.

"Sessha is sorry, Kaoru-dono. I shouldn't have kissed you!"

"URGH! I just hate it when you call me 'dono'! And why do you call yourself 'sessha'? Why can't you talk like normal people?" Kaoru grabbed him by his collar and started kissing him passionately.

'If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up.' Kenshin thought.

==========

Hello, minna! Thank you all for the reviews. I didn't expect it. I wrote the beginning of the story because it was nervous with the presentation of my essay and I couldn't sleep, then it was very nice to see that the people liked the story (since my essay frustrated me!).

By the way, I believe this is my last attempt of a funny chapter, 'cause the others will have to be more serious. 

Just answering some reviews:

Draconical Priest: I don't write lemons! (but it would sure be a nice way to make amends!)

Suzann: Maybe somebody should write a story about Sano going to his first AA meeting!

Bao Blossom: I'll try to hold down on the sessha thing (I only wrote so many because I hate when he says 'sessha!' I think it's annoying.)

Mordain: Thanks for the compliment. You should see me writing in Portuguese (I really kick ass!).

Kathie: É bom mesmo você pegar no meu pé, porque eu tenho mania de começar as coisas e não terminar. Apesar de que este fic vai ser curtinho.

^x^


	3. That fateful morning

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. If I did, Kenshin and Kaoru would have been together for ages... and Kaoru would probably look like me. This is not fair! I want a Kenshin for myself! (but with my luck he would probably go Battousai and kill all my stuffed animals!).

**That fateful morning**

"Sessha will marry Kaoru-dono. It seems the right thing to do."

"WHAT??" Her face was red from anger. "What makes you think that I want to marry you??"

"Sessha only thought..."

"Don't think! Get out of here! Right Now!" Kaoru yelled, raising her fist in the air. "Now!"

Kenshin barely made it out of the room without being punched senseless. Outside, he was finally able to breathe.

"Sessha should be the mad one... It was HER idea to drink the sake." He muttered, walking towards the kitchen.

Kaoru just hung around the room, until she was sure Kenshin wasn't going to come back.

She had built on her imagination millions of fantasies about Kenshin asking her to marry him. Her favorite was being by his side, watching a beautiful sunset. Kenshin would touch her hand and smile. Then he would say: "Aishiteru, Kaoru" Just plain Kaoru. She always hated that 'dono' suffix he always used.

Then Kenshin would kiss her softly and say: "Would you give me he honor of being my wife?"

Yeah, Kenshin definitely blew it. She wasn't angry with him. She was furious. 'How does he dare to make a marriage proposal to sound as if he got stuck with me?'

Kaoru clenched her fist. She felt like strangling Kenshin to death, or at least hit him hard in the head with her bokken. Either option sounded rather appealing at that moment.

She knew she had ruined the perfect chance to have Kenshin as a husband and he would never propose to her again, because of how she had reacted. Kaoru sighed. Even thought the rurouni had made her really furious, she was in love with him. If she ever wanted another chance with Kenshin, she would have to call for desperate measures: she was going to ask Sano for advice.

***

Kenshin found that the kitchen needed urgent cleaning. There were onion pieces all over, besides of the broken broom and burnt food on the stove. He wondered how the building survived the night, considering how drunk he and Kaoru were.

'Kaoru', that day the thought of her wasn't as happy as it always have been. Somehow, her answer that morning had broken something inside of him. He never thought of himself being worthy of her love, but just for a second, he thought he had been forgiven for all his sins. But then, Kaoru was angry. More than that, she was irate. With him? With what he had done to her? There was a missing piece on the puzzle and he couldn't figure out what it was.

"Ohayou" Yahiko came into kitchen. "What happened here? Did you fight someone?"

"Iie. Nothing happened." Kenshin tried to remain calm. It seems that it was written on his face that he had done something he shouldn't.

"I don't buy it." Yahiko said, picking up the Sakabattou over the table. "Did you fight an onion?"

"It was an accident." Kenshin said, sweat pouring on his forehead. The damn kid was becoming somewhat like a detective.

"An accident? With an onion?"

'Wrong answer, Himura... Now, how am I am going to get out of this?' Kenshin thought beginning to panic. He turned around, pretending he was cleaning something, so that Yahiko couldn't see his face.

"Ohayou, Kaoru" Yahiko said.

Kenshin almost fell over. He felt his face growing red. If someone saw his face, probably wouldn't know where his face ended and his hair began.

"Ohayou." Kaoru said, her eyes wide open staring at the mess they had done in the kitchen. Kenshin had his back turned to them. Kaoru felt her face become hot.

"Why is your face red, busu? Do you have a fever or something?" Yahiko, the most sensitive boy in the world, asked.

Kaoru touched her face, her skin felt like it was burning under her fingers. Kenshin took advantage of the situation to try to run away. He would have succeeded if Sano hasn't come to get a free meal. Kenshin ran into him and fell flat on the floor.

"Sano! Are you trying to kill someone?" Yahiko said, looking at Kenshin and wondering why he looked red as a lobster.

"Sessha apologize, Sano. I wasn't looking where I was going."

"What the hell happened here?" Sano looked at the kitchen. "Where is the sake?"

Uh-oh, wrong question. Kenshin felt like running away and Kaoru thought her face was so red as it was about to explode.

"I'm going to buy tofu." Kaoru and Kenshin said both at the same time. They looked at each other for a second.

"I'll go, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin said.

"Thank you, Kenshin."

Kenshin left as if he was running away from something. Sano kept looking for the sake, but found only empty bottles.

"Hey, Jou-chan! What happened to the sake? Did you and Kenshin had a party just for yourselves last night?" Sano asked, on a mocking tone of voice.

"WHAT?" Kaoru freaked out. She didn't prepare herself for questions like that. "It was an accident!"

"Kenshin said the same thing." Yahiko pointed.

"You and Kenshin accidentally drank all my sake? My poor sake... I thought it was safe here..." Sano looked as if he was about to cry for his lost sake. "But if you guys drank all my sake, you must have gotten really drunk."

"Why would they want to drink all that thing?" Yahiko shook his head.

"Maybe Jou-chan wanted to get Kenshin drunk... and seduce him!" Sano teased.

Kaoru just looked at the floor. Her cheeks were on fire. Sano stared at her for a moment before understanding exactly what her reaction meant.

"Yahiko, why don't you go with Kenshin to buy the tofu?" Sano asked. "I need to have a little chat with Jou-chan."

Yahiko opened his mouth to say something, but he realized Sano was dead serious.

"All right. I'll only go because Tae-san already gave me breakfast." Yahiko said, and then left.

Kaoru was more than embarrassed. Sano kept looking at her with the same expression her father used to use when she had done something wrong.

"So..." Sano started. "Did you get Kenshin drunk?"

"Sano!"

"Don't give me that look. I'm only trying to figure out what happened here."

"We both got drunk..." Kaoru said, as if she was looking for someplace to hide.

"And..."

"Please don't ask me this... I'm too embarrassed." Kaoru covered her face with her hands.

For a moment there was silence.

"I'll kill him." Sano said matter of factly.

"NO! Are you crazy?"

"Then I'll just make him marry you! Who does he think he is? Behaving like a f###### kid, not taking responsibility for his own actions!"

"No! I don't want to push Kenshin into something! And if you must know, he said he would marry me."

"Oh! Why didn't you say it before? Congratulations!" Sano turned from angry to happy in just a second.

"I said 'no'."

"What the hell?! Are you crazy, Jou-chan? Don't you love him?"

"Like I said, I don't want to push him..."

"I can see that you love him, but what are you going to do? If you don't do something about it... Well, you know Kenshin, he will probably go back to his wandering days."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yeah. It's up to you to make him stay. I'm sure he wants to marry you."

"Why would he want to marry me? I'm not a lady... Sometimes I behave..."

"Like a tomboy. We all know that. And you are aggressive. Men usually don't like women who can kick their butts. But still... Do you think Battousai would allow you to beat him unless he liked you?"

"But I'm not beautiful enough..."

"Well, a new kimono and a nice hairstyle can do wonders. And you are not ugly. You are actually very pretty. All you gotta do is dress up. There is no way Kenshin can ignore you."

"Thank you for helping me, Sano."

"No problem, Jou-chan. You and Kenshin are like family. You deserve to be happy."

***

Kaoru left home shortly after Kenshin came back from the market. She thought there was something wrong with her, that she was loosing control over her body. Every time she saw Kenshin that morning she turned red and walked away.

But her talk with Sano had built some confidence on her. She decided to fight for Kenshin. With that on her mind, she went to Akabeko.

Kaoru knew she needed woman's advice, but she wasn't going to ask Megumi even if her own life depended on it. Specially when Kenshin was the topic. Tae would be her best choice, then.

When she arrived, long before lunch, the restaurant was empty.

"Hi, Kaoru." Tae greeted. "There is something different about you... Don't tell me... Did you cut your hair?"

"No..."

"You are blushing." Tae noticed.

"Actually... I came here to ask for your advice... On Kenshin." Kaoru said, looking at the floor.

"Oh, I see..." Tae said, trying to control her face and not laugh of pure joy. 'Finally one of those two have decided on doing something!'

"Ano... Sano said I should buy a new kimono, but I don't actually know what would look good on me..."

"Oh! So we are going shopping! Wait a minute, I'm going to get my purse. I'll be right back."

'That was a little easier than I thought..." Kaoru thought, as she watched Tae come back.

***

Kenshin had finished chopping vegetables for dinner. He was washing his hands. As he dove them into the water, his mind was drifting far away.

Kaoru had left right after he came back with the tofu and spent most of the day out. When she finally came home, she locked herself in her room.

It was obvious to Kenshin that she didn't want to see him at all. He definitely had ruined everything. She probably didn't want him to stay anymore, but she was too polite to say so. Kenshin sighed, walking to his room.

Maybe he should save Kaoru the trouble of asking him to leave. He packed the few things that he owned.

"Hey, Kenshin? Why isn't dinner ready?" It was Sano, standing by Kenshin's door. "Huh? What are you doing?"

"Sessha is going away."

"Away where?" Sano stared Kenshin.

"I'm going to wander once more."

======================

Hi everybody! This is my Christmas present for you (I know it's late, but my presents are always late!). Anyway, you finally know why Kaoru doesn't want to marry Kenshin. I hope you enjoy and please forgive me for taking so long to update. It's just that I had to change everything that I had wrote... Some people said they liked it funny, so I had to change the chapter (I don't know if I succeeded... I guess I'll know when you review it).

I thank you all that reviewed this so far. I guess I can say now that are the reviews that keep the story going. I even found a friend to help me with the plot (Thanks Kathie, you are the best), and I listened to my brother's advices on what should happen next (if you have a brother like mine... He always keeps saying that Kenshin is gay and I try to strangulate him for that... But he always makes me laugh with stuff like: "why don't you make Kenshin has to disguise himself as a geisha and have that Sano guy make a pass on him?")

I hope you all got what you wanted for Christmas (I got my PS2!!!!!!! I'm so happy!!! You have no idea how expensive this thing is here in Brazil). And a Happy New Year for everybody!


	4. Sano's plan

Disclaimer: Yada yada yada. I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. I'm only borrowing it for a while (I hope I remember to return it to it's owner when I am done... Or else it will have the same fate as all those books I borrowed a while ago).

Sano's Plan

"Why are we leaving?" Sano asked after ten minutes of walk.

"I don't know why _you_ are leaving." Kenshin answered, without even looking at him.

"All I do know is that you can't leave Jou-chan... It would break her heart!"

"Kaoru-dono won't mind if I leave. I think it's best to go now and save her the trouble of asking me to leave."

'Man! This is going to be a hard fight, but I can't afford to loose.' Sano thought, clenching his fist. He didn't want Kenshin to know he knew everything.

"What did you do to her? Did you hurt her?"

"Sessha would never hurt Kaoru and would never allow anyone to hurt her."

"That bring us back to where we started... So we are leaving because...?"

"I just want Kaoru-dono to be happy."

Sano punched Kenshin, knocking him down.

"You are full of bullshit! You say you want Jou-chan to be happy and you know that what you're doing is going to break her down! You are a scumbag!"

Kenshin got up silently, dusted off his clothes and kept walking.

***

Kaoru touched the fabric of her new kimono. Tae had helped her picking a light blue kimono, with a pattern of falling sakura petals.

"Blue is the color for you" Tae had said. "It brings out your eyes."

Kaoru had to agree that her new kimono was very beautiful. She combed her hair carefully. She knew she hadn't completely forgiven Kenshin yet, but still... There was the urge of seeing him again. She just _had_ to see him.

She put away her comb, for she knew dinner should be ready by then.

When Kaoru got to the kitchen, she found a rather unusual sight: Yahiko was cooking dinner. Kaoru had to blink a couple of times to make sure what she saw as indeed what she had seen.

"Where is Kenshin?" Kaoru just had the feeling something wasn't right.

"He left." Yahiko said, emotionless.

"KENSHIN LEFT?!?!?!?!" Kaoru ran to the rurouni's room and found it empty. She was about to burst into tears when Yahiko, who had followed her, said:

"He left with Sano a while ago. I guess they'll be gone for a while, because Kenshin asked me to finish dinner."

Kaoru sighed in relief. They just had went out... There was no one really leaving. Then the oddness of the situation stroke her.

"Since when you can cook, Yahiko?"

"What? I learned a few things helping at Akabeko..."

***

'Kaoru-dono is better off without a former hitokiri living under her roof.'

'You are probably right.'

'She is always in danger when I'm around. There is always someone trying to use her to get to Battousai.'

'So... Everybody already knows she is your weakness. Why did you stay there at the first place?'

'I was sick of wandering.'

'Lame excuse.'

'Yeah, I know. But what is the truth?'

'Figure out by yourself.'

'You are not helping!'

'Maybe it's because I am you... You are talking to yourself, baka!'

'Then I guess I'll ask Sano. He is been quiet for quite a while.'

"Ano... Sano, do you think Kaoru-dono is going to be sad when she finds out I left?" Kenshin asked.

"Damn right she will."

"Do you think my stay at the dojo endangers Kaoru's life?" Kenshin still kept trying to make conversation.

"Damn right it does."

'I knew it!' Some part of Kenshin's mind jumped to the conclusion.

"But you should have thought of that before you decided to stay there to begin with. Now she is in more danger without you than with you." Sano added.

"I am not sure I'm going to believe it."

"But if you are worried about her safety, you should go back now. After all, she is alone with the kid. I know he tries hard, but he'll never be able to protect her." Sano shook his head.

"Are you going to say no one can protect Kaoru like I do?"

"No. You already said it. By the way... Why did you leave?"

"That's between Kaoru-dono and me." Kenshin said, avoiding Sano's gaze.

"Ooh... So there IS something going on between you two."

***

Kaoru was concerned when Kenshin hadn't come back to dinner, but since he was with Sano, she guessed there would be no problem. Sano would never allow Kenshin to leave without saying a word.

Having that on her mind, Kaoru finally tasted her food. As she chewed, her eyes popped wide open and a smile crossed her lips.

"What are you smiling about, busu?" Yahiko asked.

"I thought I was a bad cook... But comparing to you..." Kaoru fought hard to not laugh.

"You are lying! I can't cook THAT bad!" Yahiko said, finally tasting his own food. He fought to keep his face straight as he kept eating. He ate all of it, while Kaoru watched him carefully.

'Mou! He is going to have a stomachache just to prove me his food is edible!" Kaoru smiled to herself.

***

'Oro! He knows!'

'He doesn't know! He's bluffing! Just play it cool.'

'I really should stop talking to myself...'

"There is nothing happening between Kaoru-dono and me, nothing at all." Kenshin said, trying to study Sano's reactions.

'He definitely knows it!'

'Yeah, right... Like chicken head would pay attention to anything outside his little world.'

"Do you think I am dumb? It's so obvious!" Sano snapped.

'He knows!!!!'

"Even if that was truth, what should I do about it?"

"Tell her you love her, you damn fool! Tell her before some fresh meat shows up and take her away!" Sano was so loud that Kenshin was afraid people would hear him all the way to Kyoto.

"But that would really be the best for Kaoru-dono, wouldn't it?"

"Stop acting like you have a pineapple for a brain!" Sano grabbed Kenshin by his collar.

"Oro!"

And Sano threw Kenshin at a wall.

"There is no way someone will show up and take better care of her than you do! Besides... Are you going to just sit and watch if that ever happened?"

Just the thought of Kaoru in love with someone else made Kenshin feel sick.

"But I left... There is no way she will ever take me back now."

"Jou-chan is not that smart! She probably didn't notice it yet."

Far away, Kaoru sneezed. 'Someone must be talking about me. I hope it's Kenshin.'

"But how am I suppose to tell her... To tell her..."

"That you love her? It's very easy. I'm an expert at that. I tell a woman that I love her at least once a week. Of course, I never see them again, but that is not the point!"

Kenshin just looked at him, with a puzzled look on his face.

"Don't tell me you never told a woman that... Not once?"

"The last time I was in love it was over ten years ago..."

"You are nearly thirty and you don't know how to confess your love?? Your undying love for Kaoru..."

"You HAVE to help me Sano!!!" Kenshin had a panicked look on his face.

'We are doomed...' Sano shook his head. 'Unless...'

"Kenshin, why don't we go over to my place and talk more about this?"

'It's a good thing I always keep sake at home for emergencies.' Sano thought patting Kenshin's back.

***

"You are my best friend. *hiccup* No one understands me like you do." Kenshin said, grabbing a bottle of sake.

"You are my best friend too. My bestest friend in _the_whole_wide_world." Sano said, trying to get the sake bottle away from Kenshin.

"Sano *hiccup* I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to my pretty, pretty, pretty sake..."

"I wasn't talking to you neither... And the sake is MINE!" Sano took the bottle from Kenshin. "Did you miss daddy, beautiful?"

"Weren't we suppose to be talking about *hiccup* Kaoru-chan?"

"Wow! Wow! Wow! This sake is pretty good stuff! Kaoru-CHAN? That's sooo lovely!" Sano started sniffing. "And I was lying before... You really are my best friend... You and the sake tied at number one."

"..."

"You were suppose to say I'm your best friend too."

"..."

"Kenshin?" Sano glared at Kenshin.

"Sorry... The sake is still my best friend. With you a distant second... I mean, third. My sakabattou is definitely number two."

"Whatever. I would help you with Kaoru-CHAN, but I guess you don't need my help!" Sano got grumpy.

"I was joking! *hiccup* Please help me!"

"Okay, just because you are my best friend... Now pay attention!"

***

Kaoru woke up with a loud cry.

"KAORU-DONO!!!"

'Huh? Who is that?' Kaoru asked herself, unsure if she was awake or still dreaming. She got up, drowsy, and made her way to the front yard.

"KAORU-DOOOOOOONOOOOOO!!!"

Definitely Kenshin's voice. But why did it sound so weird?

"Where are you? KAORU-DOOOOOOOOOONNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO???"

"Shut up, Kenshin! You are going to wake Yahiko! I'm here. It's late. Why are you shouting?"

"Kaoru-dono!!!!!!!!! You are here!!!!!! I'm soooo happyyyyyy!" Kenshin looked like he was about to cry. He ran towards Kaoru, his arms wide open, until he finally tripped on his own legs, falling on the floor.

"What is going on here?" Kaoru asked herself, as she kneeled next to Kenshin. "Are you ok, Kenshin?"

She turned Kenshin over.

"Kaoru-dono... I came back because I have something to tell you." Kenshin said.

"Kenshin? Why is your nose redder than Rudolph's on a Christmas Eve? And what's this smell? Sake?" Kaoru asked.

"Sessha only drank a little, right, Sano?"

Kaoru got up.

"What happened, Sanosuke?" Kaoru yelled.

"I never knew Battousai was such a weak drinker..." Sano laughed, wobbling to where she was. He was as high as Kenshin was.

"Mou! You are just like kids! I'll beat you up!"

"Did you hear that, Kenshin?!?! Jou-chan is going to spank you!" Sano said, at the top of his lungs.

"Oro!"

"WHAT? Wait until I get my hands on you!" Kaoru shouted.

"WOW! Jou-chan! I had no idea you were this... Naughty!" Sano had a surprised look on his face.

"Oh! Shut up! You... You... Rooster head! What were you thinking? Why did you get Kenshin drunk?"

"I thought Kenshin needed some encouragement. *hiccup* You know, it had worked before... You REALLY know it." Sano was having trouble standing up.

"Mou! And you, Kenshin? What were you thinking?"

Silence.

"Kenshin?"

Silence again. Kenshin had passed out.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID, SANO!"

"Me? It was you and all that sex talk you were doing before! You must have scared him to death!"

"What if... Kenshin turns into an alcoholic?"

"Relax, Jou-chan... He is not going to turn into an alcoholic just for a little drinking..."

"Then you will get Kenshin to his room." Kaoru said.

Sano picked up Kenshin and went wobbling and banging into every wall of the way. When they finally reached Kenshin's room, Sano fell over Kenshin. Kaoru would motion him to move, but she realized he had fallen asleep.

"Oh, well... I guess I will just leave the two of you alone."

=====================

You honestly didn't think I would make Sano the hero here, right? I think he means well, but the outcome is always disaster.

Okay, this was fun to write. I kept laughing and laughing on the street while imagining the scene. Someone actually asked me why I was laughing. I really felt like I was crazy!

I guess drunk people are funny to write. I hope this one was funnier than the last one.

Thanks to everybody who reviewed it so far.

Obrigada também às duas pessoas que mandaram o review em português. Eu responderia separadamente a vocês, mas eu estou sem internet até o dia 2 de janeiro, então eu realmente não consigo lembrar quem foi que escreveu o que. Abraços.

Bye everybody. Stay tuned for the next chapter. No drunks, I promise. Hehehehe

I wouldn't want my dear Kenshin to become an alcoholic. (Can you imagine a drunk Kenshin fighting an enemy? It wouldn't work!


	5. Dinner Date

Hello, everybody! I'm so happy that I am home! It's not that I don't like to travel, it's just that I couldn't stand being away anymore (I guess I missed my computer).

Just answering a review before I forget it.

Javiera Anguita: Yes, I'm Brazilian. There are a few fanfiction writers around here that are from Brazil too.

Just before continuing, I have to thanks to Kathie (a.k.a. Kayjuli), the editor of this story. Without her this chapter wouldn't be possible (I got a major writer's block!). Anyway, for those of you who like Card Captor Sakura, Kathie has the most amazing fanfiction about it. It's called 'The Power of Two Hearts'. I recommend it.

Oh, I almost forgot.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. But I'm going to write a letter to Santa and I hope he'll give it to me next Christmas. If the entire cast is not possible, I hope I can get at least Kenshin (mmm... Kenshin, wrapped as a Christmas present... Mou! Going hentai over a anime character? I think I need a boyfriend. But go figure, after watching Rurouni Kenshin, I don't think I'll ever meet someone that can measure him... I never met someone that can fight using the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu!).

**Dinner date**

It was a cold winter's morning at Kamiya Dojo.

Kenshin was lying on his futon, not willing to move. However, his body didn't feel cold as it usually did. But that didn't mean he felt comfortable, quite the opposite, he felt like a potato sack had been dropped over him. In fact, he could hardly move at all. Not only that, but something was tickling his chin. He would take out a hand and chase away the itch, but he couldn't move his arm. Kenshin opened one eye, then the other, just to close them tight again. Then he opened his eyes again and it was still there.

"GET OFF OF ME!!!!!!!" Kenshin shouted at Sano's ear.

"Huh? Don't yell, Kenshin. I have a headache." Sano said, turning to the other side and resuming his snoring.

"What kind of parallel universe is this?" Kenshin mumbled, pinching his arm.

'Yup, I'm awake. What is the last thing I remember? Sano told me he would help me with Kaoru.'

"SANO! WAKE UP" Kenshin yelled again, kicking Sano's back.

"Ouch, Kenshin! That hurts!"

"How much did we get to drink last night?"

"Not enough, apparently. You didn't get to tell Jou-chan what we came here for. But you came real close to that."

"How close?" Kenshin asked.

"Let me remember... You said you had something to tell her. Then she started talking dirty. She said she would spank you until you started looking like Randolph or something. Who the hell is Randolph? I told you to act quickly before a taller guy comes along and tries to take Jou-chan away from you. Didn't she say she met this Randolph on Christmas Eve?"

"She was talking about RUDOLPH! You know, Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer."

"That doesn't make any sense... Why would Kaoru want you to look like a reindeer? Does she have a fetish over pets? Oh... That would explain why she keeps the kid around."

"Sano, could you please do me a favor?" Kenshin asked. "SHUT UP!"

"There's no need for yelling. I'm only trying to help."

"Please don't. If I'm going to do this, I'll do it by myself, okay?"

"Are you sure you can? It would probably take you forever to tell her."

"Just let me manage it."

Sano gave away a resigned look. Kenshin sighed in relief. Maybe Sano just wasn't the right person to take advice from. But who would Kenshin ask? Maybe he could get a woman's advice on this. A woman would probably understand how Kaoru felt. It would probably be the best choice. That was it. After breakfast he would go see Megumi-dono.

"Did you guys nap well?" Kaoru asked, when they arrived at the kitchen. She had already made breakfast.

"Never slept better." Sano said, sitting down.

Kenshin just looked at Kaoru, looked at the food and ran outside, with his hand covering his mouth.

"Is Kenshin sick?" Yahiko asked.

"No. It's probably a natural reaction to Jou-chan's cooking." Sano said, smiling, and bowl flew, hitting him on the head.

Kenshin came back a while after. His face was the palest shade of white.

"Are you okay, Kenshin?" Yahiko asked.

"Daijoubu." Kenshin sighed.

"If you aren't feeling well, you probably should go see doctor Gensai" Kaoru said. 'And quit drinking, of course.' She added in her thoughts.

"You should go see Megumi. I bet she can fix you pretty fast." Yahiko said, shoving food in his mouth. "Besides, Megumi is a lot cuter than doctor Gensai, if you know what I mean."

"Sessha will do that."

***

Busy, busy, busy. Too busy even to breathe. Megumi felt like every kid, man and elder on the city had chosen that particular time to get the chickenpox, to get into a fight, or get the flu. It was surprising when she found Kenshin waiting patiently among other patients.

"Ken-san! You look pale... Don't tell me you are sick."

"Ohayou, Megumi-dono. No, sessha is not sick. It's just a small after effect from a little drinking." Kenshin said.

Megumi looked at Kenshin, wondering if she had heard right.

"I never thought you were capable of that, Ken-san... You came to see me because of a hangover?" She asked, pretending to be hurt.

"No... Actually, I was wondering if I could have a word of advice." Kenshinsaid.

"Advice?" Megumi repeated.

"Yes... I need a woman's point of view on something."

"I'd be glad to help you, Ken-san."

Kenshin cleared his throat and found his mouth was dry. Why was so difficult to ask for advice? Maybe it was because he would be telling some other people about his feelings towards Kaoru and she not even knew that yet. He thought Kaoru should know before the rest of the world. Of course, Sano knew about it, but Kenshin didn't tell him. It was somewhat different if he told Megumi.

"If... One loves a woman..." Kenshin began.

'Damn, it's too hard to tell Megumi-dono about this.' Kenshin thought. 'Think of it as some kind of practice. Can you imagine if you start stuttering when it is the real thing?' He reminded himself.

"If one loves a woman... And wants to spend the rest of his life with her, but he haven't told her how he felt, what would be the best way to do it?"

A shocked Megumi stared at Kenshin. Kenshin just thought of how awkward the situation was, asking for Megumi's advice about Kaoru. 'Kaoru.' He just started picturing Kaoru, doing her daily duties, chasing Yahiko, trying to cook a meal - only trying, because there is no way she could get it right. But he would eat her meals anyway. He loved her so much that even her food was tasteful to him. Kenshin couldn't help but smile.

Megumi looked at Kenshin. He was smiling. 'Could it be? Is he talking about me?' She thought, and became very nervous.

"Well... Ken-san... If you want to tell a woman that you love her, it would be best if you ask her out... On a romantic date."

Kenshin felt like hitting his own head. 'Why haven't I thought of that? It was so simple! But no! I had to listen to Sano and drink his stupid sake!'

"When should I ask her?" Kenshin asked himself out loud.

"The sooner the better." Megumi said. "Tonight would be great."

"A dinner at the Akabeko... Alone. It sure is a great idea." Kenshin said. "Thank you very much, Megumi-dono."

***

Kaoru knew he was there, watching her. She just pretended she didn't notice. She still didn't know what to say or how to act near him. So, she just kept practicing.

'Just talk to her already, Himura. What are you? A chicken? It can't be that hard...' He took a deep breath, peeking inside the dojo. 'Oh... So beautiful. So energetic.'

'I'm sweating like a pig. I hope he doesn't come in' Kaoru thought, swinging her bokken mechanically.

"Ano... Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin said, trying to catch her attention.

Kaoru stopped a swing on the air. He had come in... What should she do? She felt she would start to panic. He would see how worn out and sweaty she was. But then... He had seen her like his before.

"Yes, Kenshin?" She turned to him and tried to smile.

"Sessha is very sorry for waking you up last night." Kenshin really seemed regretful

"Oh... That was... Unusual. Do you plan starting drinking on a regular basis?" Kaoru mentally kicked herself. Didn't she had something more interesting to talk about?

"No. That really was enough." Kenshin sighed. "That's what we get for trying to listen to Sano's advice..." The last sentence was more like a mumble.

"What did you say?" Kaoru asked.

"It was nothing... Ano... Kaoru" Kenshin had to make a particular hard effort to not say 'dono' with her name. "I was wondering... If you would join me for dinner tonight?"

'Please say yes.' Kenshin begged in his mind.

'Did he just asked me out?' Kaoru thought, feeling that her mouth was hanging open. 'Kami-sama! Is he really asking me out because he wants to, or because he feels guilty about everything that's happened so far? What should I do? Do I ask him that? No. It would freak him out. I'll just say yes and figure it out later.'

"I would like that." Kaoru finally said, and thought her voice sounded weird.

'YES!' Kenshin's mind screamed, but he was able to remain cool.

"Where will we be going?" Kaoru suddenly asked.

"I thought of the Akabeko, but if you want to go elsewhere..."

"The Akabeko is fine." Kaoru smiled. "But could we meet there, Kenshin? There are some things I need to do. I think it would be better if we met there."

Kenshin went to his room. He couldn't believe he actually had asked Kaoru out for dinner. Moreover, he couldn't believe she had actually accepted it.

He looked at his gi. It wasn't actually fit for a date. It had been torn apart and sewed back together too many times. He had an extra gi somewhere on his room. He had bought it not long ago, without actually knowing why.

***

"TAE-SAN! I NEED HELP!" Kaoru arrived at the Akabeko, a panicked look on her face.

"What happened?" Tae asked, imagining someone had gotten hurt or something really nasty was about to happen. "Calm down first."

"Kenshin asked me out for dinner." Kaoru said, trying to calm down.

"Did he? I'm so happy, Kaoru-chan!" Tae smiled. "But why are you panicking? You already have what to wear, right? That kimono will look perfect on you."

"Yes, but there so many things to worry about! What do I do about my hair? How do I behave? What if I do everything wrong? What if he stops liking me? What if he doesn't like the way I look? What if..."

"CALM DOWN! Everything will be fine, Kaoru-chan. I'm sure Kenshin-san will be nervous too. Just try to act naturally and don't worry so much. I will help you fix your hair and get ready."

***

Kenshin arrived at the Akabeko before time.

He thought he should be there when Kaoru arrived and not make her wait a second.

"Hello, Kenshin-san." Said Tsubame shyly.

"Good night." Kenshin smiled at her.

"Tae-san already has your table ready." Tsubame said, leading the way.

'How did she know I was coming? I didn't talk to anyone about it." Kenshin thought and was about to ask Tsubame the same question when he saw Yahiko.

"Kenshin? What's that you are wearing? I almost didn't recognize you. And why are you here alone? Is this what you do when busu is not looking? She cooks, you pretend to like it, then you come all the way to the Akabeko to have a decent meal?" Yahiko said in one breath.

"What?"

"At least you look good in this clothes. Much better than that pink gi."

"The gi is not pin..." Kenshin was cut off by Yahiko.

"Oh! I see! You have a hot date tonight! I hope busu doesn't find out about this, because if she does you'll most certainly die. You know how she can get... Violent."

Tsubame had kept the tray in front of her face the entire time. She patted Yahiko on his shoulder.

"What is it?" The boy asked.

"Kenshin-san is meeting Kaoru-san tonight."

"WHAT? YOU ASKED BUSU OUT?" Yahiko said at the top of his lounges.

"Shh... You don't have to yell." Kenshin knew that everyone on the restaurant were looking at them.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?"

"Huh?"

"I mean... Busu is busu. You know her." Yahiko began.

"Aa." Kenshin agreed.

"You know she can be pretty tough."

"Aa."

"And you still want to date her?"

"Aa."

"You must be insane, but good luck. Try to not say anything wrong, or she will beat you to death."

"Sessha will remember that."

Yahiko turned to leave towards the kitchen, but stopped shortly after.

"And compliment her. You know the old hag will always be an old hag, so if you compliment her, you'll get her drooling over you." Yahiko said and went into the kitchen.

'I must have hit the bottom of the pit now... Getting advice from a ten-year-old.' Kenshin didn't even see Megumi approaching.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Megumi said, sitting down.

"Megumi-dono?"

"Quit the 'dono', okay? We are all alone now."

"But Megumi-dono..."

Megumi put a finger over Kenshin's lips.

"Megumi." She said

"Okay, Megumi..."

"I can't tell you how excited I am being here with you. It's like a dream come true... I always thought you liked the Tanuki girl more, but I'm so happy I was wrong!"

"Megumi-dono!"

"Quit the formalities already, if we are to be wed." She said, pulling Kenshin and kissing him.

Kenshin tried to push her away. He thought he had succeeded making her understand he didn't want to kiss her, because she had stopped. Only then Kenshin realized he had his hand over her breast.

"KENSHIN!" Kaoru's voice echoed through the restaurant.

"Kaoru-dono! This is not what it looks like!"

"Kenshin-san. This is a family establishment!" said Tae, that was by Kaoru's side.

Kenshin realized he still had his hand over Megumi and put it away.

"You were kissing her... To say the least!" Kaoru yelled.

"Let me explain!" Kenshin tried to speak.

"Explain what? You were kissing her! I saw that! I never expected you to do such a thing! SCUMBAG!" Kaoru tried to leave and Kenshin grabbed her wrist.

"Please, Kaoru."

"How could you do this? How? I'm such a silly romantic girl... I thought you would at least had some respect for me! I was so wrong!"

"But Kaoru-dono, please listen..."

"You are.. . You are... A PIG!" Kaoru shouted.

Kenshin's grasp over her wrist loosened up and Kaoru was able to run away, covering her eyes with her hands. Kenshin made a movement to follow her, but Tae grabbed his sleeve.

"No. Talk to her tomorrow. Right now she won't listen to you." Tae said and Kenshin nodded in agreement."

***

Kaoru stood on her room, trying to calm her nerves down."How did he dare? The pig..."She felt like crying. She thought that would be the happiest day of her life, but it turned out to be the worse. Did Kenshin called her to the Akabeko to show her he had no interest in her at all? That he loved Megumi and not her?

A tear rolled down her face.

"Pig!" She cried again. "Kaoru no baka. Stupid, stupid Kaoru. I should never have fallen in love with him."

Kaoru had never thought it was possible to love and hate the same person at the same time. She wished she could forget everything that had happened.

"FIRE!" Yahiko's voice was heard echoing through the entire dojo.

"FIRE!"

=============================

I believe there will be just one more chapter to this fanfiction... It was nice to read all the reviews. I'm thinking about writing a drama next, but I'm not sure yet. 

Okay, you read it, so please review it. Reviews are very important to every fanfiction writer. ^x^

Thanks to Kathie and her cousin (sorry, I don't know your name) for checking on my grammar and spelling.


	6. Fire?

Sorry it took so long... It's just that these last two weeks were real nasty for me. First I hurt my wrist. Then my brother got a pretty bad cold and I had to spend two nights awake taking care of him. Then I got the cold (I still have it but I feel much better now).

Disclaimer: My friend told me to say that I own it... But I had to remind her I might get sued if I did... Then she said: "it would be a great way to know the guy that owns it!" And I said: "Yeah, right."  
  
And She said: "Come on! What do you have to lose?"  
  
And I said: "You are right... I have no money. Maybe he would pity me and say that I can have Kenshin. I'd be so happy!"  
  
She said: "Hana-chan... How long it had been since your last appointment with your therapist?"  
  
I said: "A few weeks. Why? Oh! You think I am delusional again! You are wrong! Kenshin exists and I'm going to prove it!"  
  
I got no answer. I ran to the phone and called my therapist.  
  
Me: "I'm doing it again! I'm talking to my imaginary friend!"  
  
My therapist: "What did she tell you this time?"  
  
Me: "She told me to say I own it, so I could get a law suit from the guy who owns it, Watsuki-san. That way, he might pity me and give me Kenshin for my birthday."  
  
My therapist: "Yeah, that would be a great idea!  
  
Me: "HUH?"  
  
My therapist: "Well... At least you can get to travel to interesting places, ne?"  
  
I stare at the phone, wondering why my therapist sounds just like me. Then I yell: "YOU ARE ALL CRAZY!!!!! I DON'T OWN RUROUNI KENSHIN AND I AM NOT GOING TO SAY I DO JUST TO GET A LAW SUIT!"  
You big time lawyers heard me...

On with the story!

**Fire?**

  
"FIRE!" Yahiko's voice echoed through the dojo.

Both Kenshin and Kaoru ran to find Yahiko standing outside the storage room.

"In there." Yahiko pointed.

Kenshin and Kaoru entered the storage room without a second thought.

"Where is the fire? I can't smell smoke!" Kaoru said, looking around.

The door closed violently behind them. They were locked in.  
  
"Open this door, Yahiko!" Kaoru shouted.

"No way, busu. I'm not going to stand here and watch my family fall apart. I'm not opening this door until you and Kenshin talk things out."  
  
"Open this door, or else!"  
  
"What, Busu? If you kick it down you will only prove to the world what I know for very long... That you are not actually a Tanuki, but a monster disguised as one!"  
  
"Kenshin! Do something!" Kaoru ordered.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"I don't know! Break down the door with your sword."  
  
"I don't have my sword with me, Kaoru-dono."  
  
"WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU ALWAYS HAD THAT THING WITH YOU!"  
  
"The Sakabattou is not a thing..." Kenshin's feelings were hurt. "And I don't carry it with me around the house."  
  
"WHATEVER!"  
  
On the other side of the door, Yahiko sighed.  
  
"Busu, you better start talking to Kenshin, and don't yell. I won't let you out if you are yelling. Oyasumi nasai, busu, Kenshin."  
  
"YAHIKO!" Kaoru kept yelling for more than ten minutes, while Kenshin just sat down and enjoyed the sight.  
  
Kaoru had her face red from anger. Her eyes were puffy from crying, but still, to Kenshin she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had a new kimono on, that he never had seen her wearing before. She had already undid her hair, so it fell free over her back and shoulders.  
  
"THE LITTLE BRAT IS NOT OPENING THE DOOR." Kaoru finally came to the conclusion.  
  
"I'm sure he will let us out in the morning."  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK HERE ALL NIGHT!"  
  
"Calm down, Kaoru-dono. It will only be for a few hours."  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND 'A FEW HOURS' WITH YOU." Kaoru finally dropped to the floor, sitting like a grouching child that had been denied something she longed for. Things just kept getting worse by the minute.  
  
"Perhaps we could do what Yahiko suggested."  
  
"I have nothing to talk with you." Kaoru had stopped yelling, but she was as mad as before.  
  
"Allow sessha to do the talking, then."  
  
"Do whatever you want. That doesn't mean I'll listen." Kaoru felt the need to kick herself for saying such an idiotic thing. There was no way she couldn't hear him if he started talking.  
  
'Now he is going to try to explain how he loves Megumi and I mean nothing to him...' Kaoru thought bitterly.  
  
"You look very beautiful, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin said.  
  
Kaoru lifted her head. That wasn't what she expected to hear.  
  
"I thought you said you were not going to listen." Kenshin smiled.  
  
'I wasn't going to, but that definitely got my attention.' Kaoru thought, but said nothing.  
  
'This is going to be very hard.' Kenshin thought to himself. She was very hurt by a misunderstanding. It made him feel bad. He couldn't stand to see her hurt, even more if he was the cause.  
  
"Sessha did something really stupid yesterday, besides drinking with Sano. That makes two very stupid things I did on the same day. I was going to leave, but Sano saw me and talked me into coming back. Even if he hadn't talked to me, I don't think I could go far either... Deep inside I knew that I couldn't leave without saying good bye and saying it to you is something I don't have the heart to do again."  
  
Kaoru's eyes were wide open. She could only imagine what would be her life without Kenshin. It would be empty, hollow. She was mad with him, but she couldn't possibly think of him leaving her.  
  
"You would... Just leave me?" Kaoru felt the tears coming to her eyes.  
  
"I was concerned about you. I didn't want you to be unhappy by my staying here. But when I came back... This is my home, Kaoru. Not because I live here. People say that home is where the heart is. My heart is yours. Wherever you are it's home. Under a bridge would be home, if you were there."  
  
"Stop!" Kaoru cried. "You can't say these nice things and expect all the wrongs you did to go away! I saw you!"  
  
"It was a shame, actually. A misunderstanding between Megumi-dono and myself. I hope Megumi-dono forgives me for being rude." Kenshin said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I was trying to get a woman's advice on our situation, but I failed miserably. Instead, I gave Megumi-dono the wrong impression.... I plan on apologizing to her soon."

"You mean... You don't... You didn't..." Kaoru's eyes were shining once more. "You don't like Megumi?"

"I like Megumi-dono. She's a friend, that's the only kind of affection I carry for her. You honestly didn't think... Oh... You did think that I cared for her as something more than a friend?"

Kaoru's face turned red.

"I never know what to think when it comes to you, Kenshin!" Kaoru objected.

"Well, I couldn't hand over my heart to Megumi-dono. I can't give to anyone what have already been given. My heart is yours, Kaoru."

"Why would anyone bother to love me? I'm not a lady, I'm not polite, I'm not feminine..."

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen on my life. Who cares if you don't behave like a lady? You are courageous, compassionate, strong... You care about people without ask nothing in return. You are generous enough to take into your home a wanderer without really knowing anything about him."

"I'm that naive."

"Maybe. But that's one of the things that made me fall in love with you."

"You don't have to say this."

"I would never lie to you. I love you, Kaoru."

Kenshin kneeled beside Kaoru. She could feel her heart pounding like hell.

"If you want me to leave, I would leave." He said. "You just have to say so."

"I can't. I don't want you to leave... I want you to stay here with me."

"Kaoru-dono... I completely understand if you say 'no', but I need to ask you this again. I promise this will be the last time. Will you marry sessha?"

"I will... But only if you stop calling me Kaoru-dono."

Kenshin scratched his head in confusion for a second. Then his eyes grew brighter, as he said:

"Very well, Kaoru-koishii."

Kaoru just melted at his words. As he kissed her, Kaoru knew they would stay together forever.

***

It was a happy day at Kamiya Dojo. A few close friends had been invited to celebrate what Sano gently called: "the day when Jou-chan and Kenshin tied the knot, it was damn time if you ask me."

"You owe me." Yahiko said to Kenshin.

"Aa." Kenshin agreed.

"You owe me big time."

"Aa"

"And next time, please don't let busu be too hard on me."

"She wasn't hard on you."

"Yeah, right. Five hundred swings and cleaning the dojo's floor for three hours. I could actually see my reflection on the floor when I finished."

"Domo Arigatou, Yahiko."

"You are welcome. And you know I must care for the well being of my family, ne?" Yahiko said, turning to leave.

"Yahiko, could you please keep it a secret?"

"No problem. I wouldn't want busu to become a widow. She would never find other person crazy enough to marry her. I must say, Kenshin, I never thought you were capable of planning like this. I was most surprised when you asked me to lock you and busu in the storage room. Well... What matters is that it worked."

"Kami-sama... Help me." Kenshin said, his eyes growing wide as watermelons.

"It's not too late for you to run!" Yahiko laughed, when he saw what Kenshin was looking at.

"I wonder... What kind of story is he telling her? That man is sick!"

Seijuro Hiko sat comfortably (or as comfortable as a man his size can sit anywhere) on the dojo's porch. By his side stood the Kamiya girl, or should we say, Himura-san.

"Thank you so much for coming." She said with a true happy smile on her face.

"I couldn't not to. I had to make sure that baka student of mine wasn't going to freak out and run. So, I guess it worked, huh?"

"Hai." Kaoru answered, her cheeks turning an interesting shade of pink.

"Like I told you in my letter, baka deshi is a weak drinker. I remember that once he stole my sake while I went to town for a few hours. When I got home, the idiot was butt naked standing on the roof, yelling something like he was the emperor of the world. I honestly don't know what kind of twisted ego would say something like that. Then he tried to make a pass on the chimney. Of course, he was so drunk that he slipped and fell inside the chimney and got stuck. He almost died from inhaling smoke, but he lived. It was funny." Hiko took another sip of his sake. "I honestly don't know how he keeps surviving... Maybe it's because of his stupidity."

"Thank you very much for your advices, Hiko-san." Kaoru said, pretending that she didn't hear him. "I guess I need to thank Sano also. He kept it a secret when I asked him to buy the sake. The only problem is that he thought he should organize a party too..."

"What can I say? Baka deshi has baka friends..."

FIM

===========================

Hi, Minna-san. Thanks everybody for the support while I was writing this. You really are great readers, because I never expected someone to review this story. Thank you very much.

This is probably my last funny fic. I found out those are too hard to write. I think I'll go into drama next. If I ever try writing something funny again it will probably be an one shot.

Just answering a few reviews:

Zosocrowe: I giggle all the time while I am writing something... I think I must sound exactly like Beavis and Butthead.

Koneko-dono: your alter ego is really scary.

.

  



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